Hi friend, This week, I want to share a practice with you. You can use this anytime you find yourself jumping to conclusions about someone's intentions. In my video, I use the example of one partner brushing off the other. The brushed-off partner immediately jumps to a conclusion: "My partner is mad at me." This is an unhelpful pattern a lot of us fall into. It's a habit of filling in the blanks about someone elseās thoughts or intentions without checking the facts. We notice a behavior,...
8 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, Do you struggle to show the care you have for others? Maybe you assume people already know how much they mean to you, or you're waiting to find the perfect words. You could create moments of connection, but instead, they pass you by, and you tell yourself you'll say the important things later. Instead, let people experience more of what's already true. Try this: 1. Notice. When someone crosses your mind, pay attention to it. Maybe you remember a conversation you had with them....
15 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, One of the things I notice most in the people I work with is how often they say, "I don't know." Sure, sometime's that's true. But honestly, most of the time, it isn't. You probably say "I don't know," when you're actually waiting for someone to tell you it's okay, because you don't trust yourself enough to act without everyone else's approval. We spend so much time waiting for people to understand us before we let ourselves move forward. We want our family to get it. Our friends...
22 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, One of the strange things about personal growth is that not everyone experiences your changes the way you do. You might feel like youāre becoming more honest, more direct, clearer about what you want, and more willing to say no when something doesnāt feel right. To you, this feels amazing! Like you're finally becoming more yourself. But the people around you may experience those same changes differently. They might see you as more difficult, more distant, or less easy-going than...
30 days agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, Did you know that most relationship problems donāt start with a huge conflict? They start with us feeling unseen when others take us at our word. Sometimes, like we talked about last week, people genuinely just get us wrong. But sometimes, we need to admit that itās our own fault. Iāve been feeling misunderstood lately, and I think I do this because Iām afraid of disappointing someone creating tension taking up space wanting something different So, Iāve decided I need to be a...
about 1 month agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, Being misunderstood is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. And unfortunately, it happens often because of who I am: gay, Latino, first-gen. People assume Iām straight. They assume Iām athletic because of my build. They assume Iām not very smart because of how I look. They assume Iām angry when Iām actually hurt. For a long time, I thought it was my responsibility to correct every assumption, explain myself, and make myself understood. But eventually, I realized that...
about 1 month agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, A lot of people think boundaries are hard because they donāt know what to say. They imagine that if they could just find the perfect wording, theyād finally be able to speak up for themselves without guilt, conflict, or discomfort. But in my experience, thatās usually not the real problem. Most people already know what they want. They know theyāre exhausted. They know they need space. They know they donāt want to go to the event, answer the text, stay late, or keep carrying...
about 2 months agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Hi friend, If you say things like: "Iām fine." "Iām feeling off." "Itās been a rough day." And then feel disappointed when people around you donāt respond the way you wanted them toā¦ Youāre not really communicating. Youāre just hinting. And the people in your life arenāt ignoring you or devaluing your needs. They just donāt understand what they are because you never actually expressed them! Expressing needs can feel scary because you have to be more direct. It can feel like youāre being...
about 2 months agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read
Stay With Yourself is a live small-group workshop for people who overthink, shut down, or lose themselves in difficult moments. Weāll practice how to stay connected to yourself when discomfort rises, instead of automatically: overthinking people-pleasing shutting down pulling away escalating saying āitās fineā when itās not This workshop is for people who: replay interactions afterward struggle to say what they actually want in the moment feel thrown off by other peopleās moods or reactions...
2 months agoĀ ā¢Ā 1 min read