Helping people respond to life instead of react. Practical tools for overthinking, shutting down, people pleasing, confidence, and self-trust. Subscribe for grounded support you can actually use in real moments.
The most uncomfortable part of growth 😬
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Hi friend, One of the strange things about personal growth is that not everyone experiences your changes the way you do. You might feel like you’re becoming more honest, more direct, clearer about what you want, and more willing to say no when something doesn’t feel right. To you, this feels amazing! Like you're finally becoming more yourself. But the people around you may experience those same changes differently. They might see you as more difficult, more distant, or less easy-going than you used to be. That can be confusing, especially when you’re working hard to be healthier. It’s easy to start wondering whether you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes, though, what people miss isn’t necessarily the old you. They miss the version of you that made their life easier. They miss the person who always accommodated, avoided conflict, or put everyone else’s comfort ahead of their own. And while that realization can bring up guilt, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re becoming selfish or uncaring. Growth often asks us to tolerate a little discomfort, including other people’s discomfort. Not everyone will immediately understand the new boundaries you’re creating or the new ways you’re showing up. Sometimes people need time to catch up to who you’re becoming. And sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to allow that process to unfold without rushing to make everyone comfortable first. Coach Jose 💛
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Coach Jose | Respond, Don't React
Helping people respond to life instead of react. Practical tools for overthinking, shutting down, people pleasing, confidence, and self-trust. Subscribe for grounded support you can actually use in real moments.
Hi friend, This week, I want to encourage you to make a move. For us awkward folks, that can be hard. Too often, we want to feel certain about our next step before we take it. We want to have the right words completely formulated in our minds before we speak. We want to know the answer before we ask. We want to know how things will turn out before we decide. But most of the time, none of those things are realistic. We have to take the step first. We have to deal with the uncertainty. I want...
Hi friend, This week, I want to share a practice with you. You can use this anytime you find yourself jumping to conclusions about someone's intentions. In my video, I use the example of one partner brushing off the other. The brushed-off partner immediately jumps to a conclusion: "My partner is mad at me." This is an unhelpful pattern a lot of us fall into. It's a habit of filling in the blanks about someone else’s thoughts or intentions without checking the facts. We notice a behavior,...
Hi friend, Do you struggle to show the care you have for others? Maybe you assume people already know how much they mean to you, or you're waiting to find the perfect words. You could create moments of connection, but instead, they pass you by, and you tell yourself you'll say the important things later. Instead, let people experience more of what's already true. Try this: 1. Notice. When someone crosses your mind, pay attention to it. Maybe you remember a conversation you had with them....